Perhaps the one of the most impactful decisions of your adult life is dealing with mom and/or dad! As you witness decline from a physical aspect and perhaps a mental aspect, as hard as it is for you… it’s much more difficult on them! The approach is critical to open the doors of communication about Assisted Living.
Tip # 1 – Show genuine concern and plant “the” seed
When you start noticing unsafe behavior, it’s important to voice your concern and start creating a baseline. Call mom/dad more frequently and stop by to check up on them. Look in the refrigerator, medicine cabinet or simply observe them walking and look for stability. Jog their memory of recent and past events to see if there are signs of dementia. If mom/dad is still driving, do a walk around and look for fender benders, or other signs of “oops”! Be positive and ask “Mom, I noticed that the milk expired last week… would you mind if I go out and buy you fresh groceries”? If she says yes, that was a seed planted!
Tip # 2 – Insist on lessening the “load”
Among the first signs, you’ll notice that mom/dad is no longer able to do the simple tasks that they used to do effortlessly. Simply suggesting that “they’ve worked too hard for too long to have to do…” lets them know its okay to lessen the load. It’s important to know that if the approach is done in a forceful way, they will be very resistant. If this is the case, make sure that you change your approach and show that they need help with the simple things and insist on helping them…make sure you so, I know you can do however
Tip # 3 – Talk to the DOC!
Next time mom/dad has an appointment, make sure you not only tag along…but communicate your concern with the doctor! Don’t forget; you’re still the “kid” and the level of respect may not be strong enough! Have the doctor express his/her concerns and talk about the ramifications of not coming up with a solution soon!
Tip #4 – Become AWARE!
We can’t begin to tell you how many times we work with clients who had NO idea what Assisted Living, is and perhaps what it is NOT! Waiting till the last minute to take action, maybe the worst thing you can do! Financially, a broken hip, bedsores, mal nutritional, un-ambulatory can become twice the cost overnight. Also, desperation always breeds bad decision. Take time out and become aware of what is out there and for what price. ElderMom Senior Placement will never push you or try to sell you anything! Let us know that you might be looking soon so we can keep an eye out and at the very least give you an idea of what to expect and help you start looking for a “down the road” solution. Once you’re aware…you can communicate with absolute certainty of what the community can offer, and when mom/dad denies needing assistance, or perhaps give their opinion on Assisted Living you can speak from recent experience and offer an educated opinion!
The worst thing you could ever do is wait too long to start looking…the process is so simple and don’t stress out about something you don’t have the full picture on! Contact us today!